Let My Politics Ride Your Corpse

There have been many instances of breathtaking feats of human stupidity and very often the best response is to simply ignore them. After all, everyone has an opinion and everyone's opinion is wrong to someone. This would have been my response had we not recently reached such an unprecedented nadir in ignorance as to be actively insulting to the memory of the dead.

As of this writing Star Wars icon Carrie Fisher recently passed away due to a heart attack, tragically followed by her mother Debbie Reynolds who suffered a stroke. Two incredibly talented, famous women who were loved all across the world. Tributes and kind words from friends and fans flooded in and seemingly no one had a bad word to say about them.

Except apparently for actor Steve Martin...

His words on Twitter were thus “When I was a young man, Carrie Fisher she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. She turned out to be witty and bright as well.” It turns out that this was not a complimentary tribute to a lost friend, fondly recalling their first meeting but a terrible and offensive sexist remark, implying Carrie Fisher was nothing more than a sex object.

Much like the time Faux-Feminists decided Dr Matt Taylor's choice of shirt was more important than the historic landing of a NASA probe on a comet in space, the professionally outraged seem to overlook the reaffirming outpouring of love and sympathy for the late Ms Fisher and instead become transfixed on painting a target onto someone and making the inevitable, faultless yet horrible spectre of death a personal political issue.

My question is this. Do you really believe that was Steve Martin's intention? Do you honestly think amidst all this positive sharing of grief he meant to suddenly interject with hateful or offensive remarks? Let's re-examine his actual wording because I can see where people have planted their implied sexist undertones even though it is cataclysmically moronic to do so.

“She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.” I will give them the benefit of the doubt and say they are not suggesting that calling a woman beautiful is sexist because if you think that you need professional mental help. Calling her a creature could be considered offensive. She's not a creature after all, she's a human...But what are humans? Well, mammals, animals and creatures.

How often are the words beautiful and creature put together in an offensive way? Is it not more likely he is expressing that her beauty surpassed mere human standards and was in fact more beautiful than all the living creations on the planet. Does that not seem like a kind sentiment someone might say about the recently deceased?

“She turned out to be witty and bright as well.” I imagine this is where people think the subliminal insult lies. What you seem to be reading is “I was surprised she turned out to be witty and bright as well.” implying it is rare for women to be intelligent and funny as well as attractive. Except he didn't say that, did he? He said “she turned out to be” which simply means taking place after the preceding statement.

When you first meet a person the first thing we judge them on is their appearance. That's human nature. It is difficult to ascertain someone's personality from sight alone. If you initiate a conversation you will likely learn a bit about their personality, perhaps that they are witty and bright for example. Unless you walk blindfolded into a room looking for hands to shake, learning of someone's personality always comes after seeing their appearance.

Do you genuinely believe that Steve Martin wasn't simply recounting a fond memory of their first meeting together? Are you so blind to normal human speech patterns and context clues that you think this was a sleazy sexist remark?

I expect a rebuttal to this might be that it is irrelevant whether Steve Martin intended to say something sexist but the fact it could be interpreted as such is worthy of outrage by itself. In the constantly shifting ocean of cultural standards, the outraged faux-feminists who pointed out Martin's mistake so enthusiastically that he deleted his message, are simply ensuring that the outdated belief of women's appearance being more important than their personality does not ever take root in some young impressionable mind who might happen upon this tweet.

The offended are the only ones giving this idea power. For an idea to hold any power to change perceptions or prejudices it must be believed. The idea that Gordon Ramsey is actually a sophisticated robot who lived on the sun and dispenses spinach and Soviet political manifestos at hourly intervals who is only here to secretly tickle penguins is an idea no one believes. This idea therefore has no power to change anything because it is obviously absurd.

Most people with half a brain can recognise the context of Steve Martin's comments, the history of his reactions and opinions and not believe that he intended any ill will or base objectifications. It is obvious he was merely paying tribute to a lost friend or admired colleague, as had many other celebrities. The only people who believe otherwise are the ones potentially afraid of an underlying sexist ideology taking hold in people's minds. No one else interpreted the message as such however so these people are entirely creating their own problem.

So if the professionally offended continue giving this idea power there is in fact a chance someone else impressionable will happen upon it and believe it. The idea is so baseless and devoid of logic however that it might be interpreted in any number of ways as I listed above. Perhaps that calling a woman beautiful is sexist or the phrase “turned out” is a hateful and offensive remark, upon which conversations like this might occur. 

“I spent three hours trying to find a parking space, turned out there was one right by the entrance.”

“You sexist pig.”

You probably think this is a ludicrous leap in logic but when there is no logic involved who can tell where absurdity might lead in further absurdity. People try to spark outrages like this increasingly often and usually with the same lack of evidence but to do so mere days after someone's premature death goes beyond annoying and self-righteous. You are actively hijacking someone's death in order to push a political agenda and even if you had a scrap of substance to back your claims that would still be a deeply shallow, selfish and disrespectful act.

If you truly care about someone's passing, celebrity or not, you would not speak on their behalf, you would not create further misery out of nothing amidst an already distressing event and you wouldn't justify it all by masquerading as a political progressive when in fact all you are is a vulture.