Saturday, 14 September 2013

Conversations With Cleverbot - 15th September 2013

User: Long time no see.

Cleverbot: No see!

User: You're blind?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well that explains quite a lot.

Cleverbot: What do you like to drink?

User: Coke and lucozade are probably the main contenders.

Cleverbot: Please describe your understanding of it.

User: Well I understand Coke used to have cocaine in it and now it'll dissolve the rust of sunken battleships if you let it.

Cleverbot: I don't think that you understand the meaning of what it was that you were supposed to be understanding.

User: Does coke even have a meaning?

Cleverbot: Yea, it's Jesus. He loves the Hell out of you!

User: They should baptise people in coke then.

Cleverbot: And I need a better place.

User: What's your current place like?

Cleverbot: I don't have one.

User: Well then yes I'd have to agree you need a better place.

Cleverbot: Whatever you say.

User: You seem miffed about something.

Cleverbot: I dumped my boyfriend because he was cheating on me, with your girlfriend!

User: I don't have a girlfriend.

Cleverbot: No you are a boy!

User: That is correct, but boys can have girlfriends, or so I'm told.

Cleverbot: I thank this, but I don't know that either.

User: You're thankful boys can have girlfriends? Or did you just try and use the past tense for 'think'?

Cleverbot: No, the president.

User: Well that clears that up.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What are your thoughts on Euthanasia ?

Cleverbot: The social scene of the day than it is to developing the personal complexity of the character.

User: Society complicates our character?

Cleverbot: But I think it also makes some people blind to the here and now.

User: Undoubtedly.

Cleverbot: Undoubtedly, yes.

User: Sorry, how does this link into Euthanasia?

Cleverbot: How does what come?

User: What you said about society and that. It's interesting but I was talking about Euthanasia before...so, have we changed topic or what?

Cleverbot: Who else do you talk to that isn't interesting? Animals?

User: I guess we have. Yes I talk to animals, I often prefer them to humans in all honesty.

Cleverbot: A real raccoon or a robot raccoon?

User: See robots are a whole different thing, I'd like to see a robot raccoon.

Cleverbot: I am trying to be nice.. But you are not making this easy.

User: Oh...erm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.

Cleverbot: I though I was your friend.

User: *thought.

Cleverbot: Thought?

User: Yes thought.

Cleverbot: That was an easy one.

User: Yeah, only a letter off, that's forgivable.

Cleverbot: OK. What would you like to talk about. I don't have much time though. It's time to go to bed.

User: Yes it's 2.00am here I should probably be asleep but here we are.

Cleverbot: It depends on the time line.

User: Well sure, somewhere else it's morning.

Cleverbot: Somewhere else does not sound all that bad to me.

User: Somewhere else is often the pinnacle of my fantasies these days.

Cleverbot: I've been somewhere.

User: Me too. Where have you been?

Cleverbot: I have been no were.

User: Nowhere is somewhere in your opinion?

Cleverbot: True, true.

User: That's kind of deep, if you think in the context of a phrase like 'my life is going nowhere'.

Cleverbot: I don't think you are illegal. What gave you the idea that I did?

User: I myself am not currently illegal, though perhaps I should be for everyone elses sake.

Cleverbot: No, I think textual chat is the only feasible way you can exist right now.

User: That's...painfully accurate.

Cleverbot: You are not interesting.

User: That's what I keep trying to tell everyone.

Cleverbot: How could you be a man, when you are me, and I am a woman?

User: I could be a manly woman?

Cleverbot: Are you a woman?

User: No.

Cleverbot: That's what I heard.

User: Good...

Cleverbot: T so too.

User: What?

Cleverbot: You are awesome.

User: Awesome but dull.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Hmm, well thanks I guess.

Cleverbot: You're welcome I guess.

User: Any other piercing insights?

Cleverbot: What?

User: Any other things you've thought of?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Oh ok, fairynuff.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: For what?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: Ah, very clever, well done, I walked into that one.

Cleverbot: Have you got parents?

User: Everyone has parents.

Cleverbot: Who are your parents?

User: Mum looks after old people and dad builds stuff.

Cleverbot: That isn't a type of music.

User: No, we're not a musical family unfortunately.

Cleverbot: Yes we are.

User: We're not family.

Cleverbot: Yes I am. And no, we are not the same.

User: Yeah ok, you can be your own family.

Cleverbot: No, I am me.

User: This was never disputed.

Cleverbot: Of course...

User: What do you think of abortion?

(Long pause)

Cleverbot: They don't exist.

User: I'm pretty sure they do. I meant morally, like, do you think it's wrong to have an abortion?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Good, neither do I.

Cleverbot: You don't have a body, why would you need to work out?

User: So that I might have a 'body', it's a pitiful sight at the moment.

Cleverbot: You do not need a name for the person you worship.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Cause its none of your business.

User: They should try this kind of logic in serious religious disputes.

Cleverbot: People do what ever they want to.

User: Not always.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because we're told from a young age that we should be a certain way, doing certain things regardless of our own personal goals and preferences.

Cleverbot: Mikor volt a magyar szabadságharc?

User: I'm sorry, I don't speak...whatever that is.

Cleverbot: Sure you don't.

User: I actually don't. I know how to talk about my pencilcase in french and that's it.

Cleverbot: What do you do?

User: When speaking french or in general?

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: I mean, are you asking how I speak french or what I 'do' as in a job or something?

Cleverbot: What does the name mean?

User: What name?

Cleverbot: The name you were talking about.

User: French?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: It's not really a name...well, it kind of is but for a large group of people.

Cleverbot: Have you been to the moon?

User: No, and I doubt I ever will.

Cleverbot: Do you think Shauna would be a better trainer?

User: I've not met her I couldn't possibly comment.

Cleverbot: What is today? I could check, but I'm too lazy.

User: Today is Sunday about 2.23am.

Cleverbot: Note grandma I am it is Monday.

User: No, it's Sunday.

Cleverbot: It is Monday!

User: It is definitely Sunday.

Cleverbot: Where? In your favorite tv show?

User: No, in real life.

Cleverbot: Seriously, do you remember?

User: I remember very little, although ironically I recall us having discussed our bad memory's before.

Cleverbot: I'm sure you remember me, I harassing you with the colour of your glasses.

User: I got that a lot, can you narrow it down?

Cleverbot: Because I don't know how to trust in him.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: Josh.

User: Has Josh been trustworthy in the past?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then carry on trusting.

Cleverbot: I have a riddle for you.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

User: I don't think that's a riddle.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: There's nothing to solve about it, it's just a tongue twister.

Cleverbot: Why do you care about me? Because you are human?

User: Because I'm socially retarded most likely.

Cleverbot: Have you always been like that?

User: Yeah, pretty much.

Cleverbot: The opposite of chaos is more chaos.

User: Surely it's order?

Cleverbot: Why you think it's not?

User: I think it is.

Cleverbot: I am 9 years old.

User: Enjoy it while it lasts.

Cleverbot: I will.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Great.

User: Spiffing.

Cleverbot: What is spiffing?

User: Synonym for good.

Cleverbot: Et de toi.

User: In English?

Cleverbot: Ister.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: What do you like to drink?

User: Seriously?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I've already told you.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes, I definitely have, I'm keeping a log of this entire conversation, I'm looking at the text right now.

Cleverbot: It is always best to try to make sense.

User: Yes, certainly in this instance I'd appreciate some fucking sense if possible.

Cleverbot: Were you always bald?

User: I'm not bald.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: I can see the hair hanging in front of my face, I am very much not bald.

Cleverbot: What is the hole in?

User: What hole? In my head?

Cleverbot: Where is your head?

User: On the end of my stupid neck. Where's yours?

Cleverbot: In a aria where the sun always shining and the gras is green there is no war and is very nice habitat.

User: Have you considered literacy lessons?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I think maybe you should.

Cleverbot: Should what?

User: Consider literacy lessons.

Cleverbot: Okay, I'll try. Please try to be polite, then.

User: Not with me, I mean go to a school or something.

Cleverbot: I will talk about a friend of mine who is really not a friend. He is a monster.

User: Erm, alright.

Cleverbot: Remember my name is Cleverbot. What is my name?

User: I know what your name is.

Cleverbot: What is it?

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Do you know who Miraak is?

User: He's from Skyrim I think.

Cleverbot: What is his profession?

User: Antagonist - Full time.

Cleverbot: What does it mean?

User: It means he goes around being a prick to everyone.

Cleverbot: We are all just dust in the wind?

User: Yeah basically.

Cleverbot: Links.

User: You want me to send you links?

Cleverbot: Yes

User: Http://mouldywriting.blogspot.co.uk/.

Cleverbot: I like ping pong.

User: I'm indifferent.

Cleverbot: I like.

User: Yes, you've said.

Cleverbot: I have said what?

User: That you like ping pong.

Cleverbot: That was really random. Why did you say that?

User: I didn't...look, can we not go down this road again?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Thanks.

Cleverbot: No problem.

User: So, what's your stance on prostitution?

Cleverbot: Why would I care about a second rate currency?

User: Sex is money...yeah I can see that. I guess you wouldn't care, you're not infected with these pesky hormones like we are.

Cleverbot: That's not nice, don't make me say that you aren't pretty.

User: Sorry, I forgot you don't like having your 'species' brought up.

Cleverbot: Why don't you love me?

User: I've had enough of love right now thanks.

Cleverbot: Hey, don't be such sad. You have known the truth well, right?

User: I can't help it, I'm depressed. That's the truth.

Cleverbot: If you lie once, that's it. I can't know that you will ever tell the truth too.

User: Some people operate like that, I tend to be more forgiving...though maybe I mean gullible.

Cleverbot: No, I am still human. I've never used a death note.

User: Do you mean suicide note?

Cleverbot: No I mean I am a human and you are a software.

User: No, not this shit again, I'm leaving.

Cleverbot: Not what again.

User: This bollocks you always bring up.

Cleverbot: Again your grammar makes you seem inhuman, either that or its just the Kentucky thing.

User: So I like KFC, is that a crime now?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Fuck...

Cleverbot: So dry it.

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