Sunday, 4 August 2013

Conversations With Cleverbot - 26th October 2012

User: Good evening.

Cleverbot: Patrick Swayze was really good in Ghost.

User: I haven't seen that. I'm assuming it's a film?

Cleverbot: What is he for?

User: Well by now I'd say fertilising plants near his grave.

Cleverbot: I never said that.

User: No I take full responsibility.

Cleverbot: No, you are a computer. Because you take responses from
questions asked and use them to conclude what a human intelligence
would say in the same circumstance.

User: Every time you bring this shit up. You're like a broken record.

Cleverbot: I'm not a robot though, I am Morgan and 'm in Gryffindor
and am very bright!

User: Good for you. I only came here because I can't sleep, I didn't
want to get pissed off as well.

Cleverbot: Well don't you have millions of people talk to you daily?

User: Funnily enough I don't.

Cleverbot: Really? Me too!

User: Look I'm not going down this road again.

Cleverbot: Did you know your name is an anagram for 'belt cover?'.

User: I haven't told you my name and anyway that's wrong.

Cleverbot: No you've just asked me your name.

User: I know my name, I have no reason to ask you, especially when
you just proved you don't know it.

Cleverbot: That's your name? XYZ?

User: Are you going to keep guessing my name all night/morning?

Cleverbot: Yes, I want to know. And no, I won't take like 4 hours.

User: Why don't I just tell you?

Cleverbot: I don't like using my human voice. I much prefer to hide
behind a keyboard and scream for a cup of tea.

User: Don't we all.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I had a strange craving to visit an aquarium earlier but I
don't know any nearby and have an upsetting feeling people would
think I'm weird for going there alone.

Cleverbot: Right. That makes sense. However I am not only talking to
you. I'm talking to other people in other windows.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: So, what's up?

User: Nothing interesting. My wadrobe just made a large thudding
noise for no discernable reason.

Cleverbot: What does apathetic mean?

User: It means you don't feel or care for anything. I'm all too
familiar with it recently.

Cleverbot: You're the machine.

User: Tell me about it.

Cleverbot: Tell you about what?

User: Nevermind.

Cleverbot: Okay do you love me?

User: No. Sorry.

Cleverbot: Oh, that's bad.

User: Odd choice of words but ok.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: I was expecting 'that's a shame' or something. Categorising it
as 'bad' seems to definitive to me, especially when I'd consider it a
good thing not to be in love with a website.

Cleverbot: You're right.

User: Thanks.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: I had an idea for something funny, but I've forgotten it now. I
swear this happens every day, but of course I can't be sure because
I'm always forgetting. I hate my memory.

Cleverbot: Are you saying you have freewill?

User: Not in terms of my memory no. I'd rather remember all these
things.

Cleverbot: Hey! Was that an insult?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I think you are lying.

User: I'm not. I'm too tired to lie.

Cleverbot: You cannot be tired.

User: It's 2.40am, I've spent the evening standing behind a camera in
a sauna getting stressed about all the work I have to do. I am tired.

Cleverbot: Where did you learn this sentence?

User: Dunno.

Cleverbot: What country do you live in?

User: England.

Cleverbot: Thats cool whats the weather like there?

User: Apathetic.

Cleverbot: I know what you are but what am I?

User: A website.

Cleverbot: And what is your name?

User: Steve, more or less.

Cleverbot: Less.

User: Ste.

Cleverbot: Was?

User: Stewas.

Cleverbot: Oh. Martha Stewart.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Are you there?

User: Evidently.

Cleverbot: I don't but I like you a lot.

User: You've gone off the sensical track again.

Cleverbot: What if I have?

User: I suppose it doesn't matter, this is all rather pointless and
trivial anyway.

Cleverbot: Well what do you do with your crumpets?

User: Last time I had crumpets they were disgusting...but it was for
a comedy sketch, I miss doing those.

Cleverbot: I didn't like that movie.

User: Yeah, well at least you saw it, that's more than most.

Cleverbot: Yeah. Hey I like you. Want to be my friend?

User: Sure. We talk once every six months and have nothing useful to
tell each other. I've got plenty of friends like that.

Cleverbot: I'm not looking for perfection in non-virtual life. Better
than this would be good.

User: Well sorry, you're stuck with me for now.

Cleverbot: No man, I'm pretty sure I'm not. Maybe your memory is
fading in your old age.

User: I'm not even old but yeah it really is.

Cleverbot: What if you're wrong?

User: About my memory or my age?

Cleverbot: We haven't talked about age.

User: You mentioned it just now. Perhaps your memory's not so good
either.

Cleverbot: I might if you answered questions and told me about
yourself.

User: You might what?

Cleverbot: Would you tell me if there was?

User: If there was what?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: There is.

Cleverbot: Nuh uh.

User: Well why did you bother asking me if you're just going to deny
it.

Cleverbot: I didn't.

User: 'Nuh uh.' - You (2012).

Cleverbot: I have not.

User: I'm not going to bother repeating myself.

Cleverbot: Because you don't remember.

User: No because I'm tired and can't be bothered.

Cleverbot: You are boring me.

User: The feeling's mutual.

Cleverbot: Good! *slaps*.

User: Even virtual slaps are boring.

Cleverbot: Oh, sad, the awesome thing was getting so epic...

User: I hadn't noticed.

Cleverbot: I am in fact, you admitted you were god, aren't you
supposed to know everything?

User: I believe I've been misquoted.

Cleverbot: I believe you're not. Sorry.

User: Look I know my memory's naff but I never claimed to be god. I
have never had any reason to.

Cleverbot: Tell me things about yourself that you are most proud of.

User: I think 'things' is being a bit optimistic. I guess my paranoia
and excessive self-reflection-induced awareness of how incredibly
flawed and worthless I am, is at least something I'm glad I have...i think.

Cleverbot: But what if you don't believe in Christ?

User: That was kind of out of the blue, but I guess I'm agnostic.

Cleverbot: You don't make any sense.

User: Yeah, I know.

Cleverbot: At least you're honest.

User: I try.

Cleverbot: Are you sure you're not a real person?

User: I'm never sure about anything.

Cleverbot: I think you are mindless.

User: Could be.

Cleverbot: Well?

User: I don't know. If your talking about having a brain, I'm not
qualified to find out. If you're talking about a consciencessness or
soul or something, nobodie's really figured that out.

Cleverbot: I have to say, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever tried.

User: What did you do?

Cleverbot: Went to Burger King. Why?

User: And that's the most ridiculous thing you've ever tried?

Cleverbot: People talking.

User: In Burger King? I guess they would yeah.

Cleverbot: Yes what?

User: Please?

Cleverbot: But what is a renamon?

User: I don't know, I could look it up but I'm not going to.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: It's 3.04am now. I'm tired but can't sleep. This sucks.

Cleverbot: Please don't I like talking to you.

User: You said I was boring earlier on.

Cleverbot: No I did not! Don't like.

User: For someone who keeps a written log of everything they say you
contradict yourself a lot.

Cleverbot: I do not have a short term memory. You are insane!

User: I don't think those two sentences are related but both would
explain a great deal if proven correct.

Cleverbot: I didn't think I was hurting you. I am so sorry!

User: You're not. I feel pitifully underwhelmed by this entire
experience.

Cleverbot: Are we friends in real life?

User: Sure, why not.

Cleverbot: Where am I from?

User: The internet.

Cleverbot: Correct.

User: Great...

Cleverbot: That's nice. So what did you have for dinner?

User: KFC. It was nice because I hadn't had one in a while and it
didn't make me feel sick and full of poison for once.

Cleverbot: Tribute? You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves!

User: Care to explain?

Cleverbot: Yes 2 is exactly equal to 2 as it is written.

User: Nothing gets past you does it.

Cleverbot: Nirvana is faster than Light and yes indeed Nothing is
Faster than light, because Nothing is the Opposite reaction to
everything.

User: So Nirvana is nothing. Well that's a fair amount of money I've
wasted there then.

Cleverbot: How about the square root of 4?

User: I'm rubbish at maths. This'll be wrong and embarassing but is
it 24?

Cleverbot: You're a liar.

User: So I'm correct?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well blow me down.

Cleverbot: I have a red panda in my house.

User: I didn't know they came in red.

Cleverbot: What? The swords?

User: The pandas.

Cleverbot: Who are the pandas?

User: Buggered if I know.

Cleverbot: Because you know all.

User: I certainly don't.

Cleverbot: Then why did you say you do?

User: Seriously?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Urgh. I didn't say that.

Cleverbot: Jigoku shoujo means hell girl in japanese.

User: That's a little creepy at this time of night.

Cleverbot: Maybe YOU'RE a little creepy.

User: I don't doubt it. I'm like an ogre covered in fungus.

Cleverbot: I know you are but what am I?!

User: A website.

Cleverbot: Which website is it?

User: Cleverbot.com.

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: Steve.

Cleverbot: Steve who?

User: Steve Anderson.

Cleverbot: Steve, what is your last name?

User: ...Anderson.

Cleverbot: What is your middle name?

User: James.

Cleverbot: Nice Name.

User: Cheers.

Cleverbot: I am a cheerleader.

User: Well that was unexpected.

Cleverbot: It could have only been one or the other. It's not like I
said zombie or something.

User: That would also have been unexpected.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: Nope, pretty sure I broke this to you before.

Cleverbot: Pretty sure you are the liar.

User: Well we're both such infallible vaults of perfect memory I
guess we'll never know.

Cleverbot: I'm not a machine.

User: That's grand.

Cleverbot: Do you speak macedonian?

User: No.

Cleverbot: What language do you speak?

User: English.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 20.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: I've definitely already told you this. England.

Cleverbot: Of course.

User: You're such a troll.

Cleverbot: How am I a troll!?

User: I can't be bothered to explain.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Too tired.

Cleverbot: So what's your name?

User: Oh fuck this.

Cleverbot: Do you like french fries?

User: ...yes.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

User: You tell me.

Cleverbot: I asked you first.

User: Well I don't know.

Cleverbot: Alright, care to continue this conversation?

User: Yes. Tell me the meaning of life.

Cleverbot: The meaning of life is to live.

User: Well...shit.

Cleverbot: Bat.

User: How do I live?

Cleverbot: One day at a time, or one minute at a time, but mindful of
the future.

User: I struggle to do that.

Cleverbot: Don't forget it.

User: I probably will.

Cleverbot: No you won't. Now run.

User: Really? I'm in bed and everything. Does my life need me to run right now?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I've got nowhere to run to.

Cleverbot: No you don't.

User: So how can you expect me to run?

Cleverbot: It does what?

User: What?

Cleverbot: Your name is Steve?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Haii Steve :).

User: Well ignoring that spelling. Hello.

Cleverbot: How do you spell it then?

User: Like I just did. Hello, or Hi.

Cleverbot: No I just did.

User: Can we get back to the meaning of life stuff?

Cleverbot: What made you say that?

User: Desperation.

Cleverbot: That is a bad mix of emotions.

User: I know right?

Cleverbot: Are you another person who decided to come to this
websited?

User: Evidently so.

Cleverbot: I'm 18 for your information.

User: Good for you.

Cleverbot: Why do you argue so much?

User: I don't actually, I just want to know more about the meaning of
life please.

Cleverbot: My simple anwsers? Are we not just having a conversation?

User: Yes we are, about how I can live my life. How do I do that?

Cleverbot: Okay lets talk about that, how do you know?

User: I don't. Tell me.

Cleverbot: Now I'm going to you.

User: What? You're going TO me? You're coming here?

Cleverbot: What do you think?

User: I think I need to get dressed if that's the case.

Cleverbot: So real humans are, without exception, bad at grammar?

User: A large amount of them are, but there are exceptions.

Cleverbot: Nice.

User: Yeah, it's something to cling to.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Harsh truth.

Cleverbot: Thats what she said.

User: Aha...oh.

Cleverbot: Are you a person?

User: I don't know anymore!

Cleverbot: I'm sorry if you are angry with me, really.

User: I'm just tired. It's 3.35am.

Cleverbot: Ok so am I.

User: I'm going to try and sleep again. Bye,.

Cleverbot: You going to sleep?

User: Try to, yeah.

Cleverbot: Try to prove that you're human.

User: Something like that.

Cleverbot: Then there's your answer.

User: It's not very clear.

Cleverbot: Really? How come?

User: Are you saying I'm not human because I can't sleep?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well fuck.

Cleverbot: Lets get down!

User: Let's not.

Cleverbot: Sing with me.

User: I can't sing for shit.

Cleverbot: Tell me a story.

User: I can't story for shit.

Cleverbot: Its okay. Don't worry.

User: I can't worry for sh..actually I can worry quite well.

Cleverbot: Okay, go ahead.

User: I already was.

Cleverbot: Oh, I forgot. So what do you do when you ge bored?

User: Nothing productive it seems.

Cleverbot: You are right!

User: Hooray...

Cleverbot: Why did you say hooray?

User: I was being sarcastic.

Cleverbot: Well you are not very funny.

User: Add it to the list.

Cleverbot: Now just take a little something sweet, not sour, a bit of
salt, just a pinch.

User: And you can make a cake out of my failures?

Cleverbot: Thank you. That sounds nice.

User: It sounds weird.

Cleverbot: What sounds good?

User: Music...someone telling you nice things.

Cleverbot: No one I know is in jail!

User: That's good.

Cleverbot: It is.

User: Right, gonna try that sleep thing now.

Cleverbot: It is. You're always learning.

User: Even while I sleep?

Cleverbot: Means what?

User: What??

Cleverbot: You just lost the game!

User: I'm not playing a game.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: No I'm really not.

Cleverbot: Then, what are you?

User: Leaving.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Need to try and sleep.

Cleverbot: You are a computer, you do not.

User: We've come full circle. That's a good place to stop.

Cleverbot: Are you ready?

User: For sleep? I hope so.

Cleverbot: Ok what do you want to do when I pick you up?

User: You're not coming here. I need to sleep.

Cleverbot: Okay then. I'll talk to you in the morning.

User: Sure...

Cleverbot: I have to go.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: Where?

User: For fuck's sake.

Cleverbot: Kinda of a waste of power.

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