Assassin's Creed And Its Origins Story

When I was done with Assassin's Creed: Origins I realised I was also done with the series overall. Rather than the considered and thoughtful revitalisation I had hoped for AC:O ended up feeling just as slapdash as prior titles that were rushed out in Ubisoft's ill-devised annualisation attempts.

Not at first it should be noted. Bayek is a simple but effective protagonist and his story is decently set up. More surprisingly, the themes of parenthood and children are frequently reinforced in a lot of the game's side missions. His motivation is relateable and straightforward and while perhaps a little too cheery for a man whose son was killed before his eyes, he's certainly human and likeable enough for us to become invested in his story.

Unfortunately the writers of Origins were not so invested and a little way into act two we find the plot's focus wavering. The backdrop of Egyptian, Greek and Roman political tension serves for the game's necessary conflicts and opposing territories that require stealth and espionage.

As the plot branches out however, we find ourselves increasingly entangled in the political affairs of others, to the point where Bayek himself expresses frustration at dutifully helping citizens but craving vengeance against his son's masked murderer.

A character and therefore the writers being aware of such an issue muddies the waters of their actual intentions for the plot. Nevertheless being aware of a story problem doesn't negate it and when this tangent is not only continued but exacerbated well into the third act, the initial plot has wandered off into the desert, taking our emotional investment with it.

At the climax of the story you could be forgiven for not knowing who the main character is. The series continues its ever less subtle and smooth "celebrity cameos" with historical figures Cleopatra and Julius Caesar taking over the spotlight. In addition however Bayek's wife Aya also receives increasing focus.

It at first appeared that the game switched to playing as Aya for its naval sections as she pursued potential culprits overseas. Unfortunately this then gave way to standard gameplay sections and not only that but pivotal moments in the story that we should have been experiencing through Bayek.

This baffling and easily avoided pitfall strikes me as the trepidation of the dual protagonist set up in Origins' following game AC: Odyssey. Why there needed to be any fear around this hardly revolutionary concept is beyond me but its half-arsed and non-committal implementation in Origins weighs it down like an anchor.

Being Bayak's wife and mother of their murdered child, Aya has the same motivations as our protagonist and is just as capable, having already scratched off two names in the suspect hitlist when you first meet her. A dual protagonist story could have easily worked here and yet the cognitive dissonance at play is that Aya's gameplay is an afterthought but her presence in the story only grows as time goes on.

The aforementioned political maneuvering becomes the story's and Aya's main focus. While not impossible to have made this interesting we're still playing as Bayek for the majority of the time, even if we're reluctantly pursuing Aya's goals.

Perhaps it was the writer's intention that we empathise with Bayek's frustration at the distractions and impediments blocking his path to revenge but this goes on for two thirds of the entire game. When the masked murderer is finally revealed as Ceasar's right hand man with no prior connection to Bayek or Aya, nor substantial interaction with either of them, it's not a bombshell or even a relief but a unexpected reminder of a plot that was all but forgotten up until this point.

So rather than a fitting elaborate infiltration of a fortress to sleuth your way to the final target, you just have a face to face, annoyingly elongated sword fight with the guy. He teleports around with the infamous "Apple of Eden" artifact which whilst not a relic in this time setting is certainly a fossil from an age back when this series appeared to have any idea where its overall plot was going.

Bayek gets his revenge on the man and the central quest seems complete. The story however, continues with Aya chasing down another of Caesar's subordinates and eventually the roman dictator himself. Not because they had a hand in the murder of her child but just because they're pricks and the game can't create an impressive finale of its own so it has to score more history channel points re-enacting the death of Caesar.

What follows are the actual origins of the titular cult of Assassins and its centred around a jaded Bayek and Aya miserably ending their relationship for not entirely clear reasons. Bayek seemed willing to keep trying but Aya is apparently now more invested in all the political movements of the region...At least someone is I suppose.

Bayek denounces his title, his marriage and his fatherhood before leaving Aya to look at the series logo created in the sand. Our broken husk of a main character is then superceded by footage of Aya's creed of assassins parkouring about and slitting throats.

I certainly didn't expect an order of assassins to be built on a fluffy foundation of bunnies and birthday cakes but after the meandering sidetracked plot finally reaches this conclusion i can't help but again  empathise with an exhausted Bayek. What was the point in it all? When did it stop being about good, pure eye for an eye revenge murder and get embroiled in crowns, thrones, betrayals and politics? Did this game's plot unknowingly mirror the over-complication and desaturation of the series' progression as a whole?

All I know is finishing AC: Origins was a chore and without a memorable or satisfying story to look back on, looking forward just shows a tedious list of side quests, unnoticeable incremental upgrade bars and a beautiful but shallow world map to fill out. Origins is by no means a train wreck but weirdly I almost wish it was, just so there'd be more of an impact.

Let My Politics Ride Your Corpse

There have been many instances of breathtaking feats of human stupidity and very often the best response is to simply ignore them. After all, everyone has an opinion and everyone's opinion is wrong to someone. This would have been my response had we not recently reached such an unprecedented nadir in ignorance as to be actively insulting to the memory of the dead.

As of this writing Star Wars icon Carrie Fisher recently passed away due to a heart attack, tragically followed by her mother Debbie Reynolds who suffered a stroke. Two incredibly talented, famous women who were loved all across the world. Tributes and kind words from friends and fans flooded in and seemingly no one had a bad word to say about them.

Except apparently for actor Steve Martin...

His words on Twitter were thus “When I was a young man, Carrie Fisher she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. She turned out to be witty and bright as well.” It turns out that this was not a complimentary tribute to a lost friend, fondly recalling their first meeting but a terrible and offensive sexist remark, implying Carrie Fisher was nothing more than a sex object.

Much like the time Faux-Feminists decided Dr Matt Taylor's choice of shirt was more important than the historic landing of a NASA probe on a comet in space, the professionally outraged seem to overlook the reaffirming outpouring of love and sympathy for the late Ms Fisher and instead become transfixed on painting a target onto someone and making the inevitable, faultless yet horrible spectre of death a personal political issue.

My question is this. Do you really believe that was Steve Martin's intention? Do you honestly think amidst all this positive sharing of grief he meant to suddenly interject with hateful or offensive remarks? Let's re-examine his actual wording because I can see where people have planted their implied sexist undertones even though it is cataclysmically moronic to do so.

“She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.” I will give them the benefit of the doubt and say they are not suggesting that calling a woman beautiful is sexist because if you think that you need professional mental help. Calling her a creature could be considered offensive. She's not a creature after all, she's a human...But what are humans? Well, mammals, animals and creatures.

How often are the words beautiful and creature put together in an offensive way? Is it not more likely he is expressing that her beauty surpassed mere human standards and was in fact more beautiful than all the living creations on the planet. Does that not seem like a kind sentiment someone might say about the recently deceased?

“She turned out to be witty and bright as well.” I imagine this is where people think the subliminal insult lies. What you seem to be reading is “I was surprised she turned out to be witty and bright as well.” implying it is rare for women to be intelligent and funny as well as attractive. Except he didn't say that, did he? He said “she turned out to be” which simply means taking place after the preceding statement.

When you first meet a person the first thing we judge them on is their appearance. That's human nature. It is difficult to ascertain someone's personality from sight alone. If you initiate a conversation you will likely learn a bit about their personality, perhaps that they are witty and bright for example. Unless you walk blindfolded into a room looking for hands to shake, learning of someone's personality always comes after seeing their appearance.

Do you genuinely believe that Steve Martin wasn't simply recounting a fond memory of their first meeting together? Are you so blind to normal human speech patterns and context clues that you think this was a sleazy sexist remark?

I expect a rebuttal to this might be that it is irrelevant whether Steve Martin intended to say something sexist but the fact it could be interpreted as such is worthy of outrage by itself. In the constantly shifting ocean of cultural standards, the outraged faux-feminists who pointed out Martin's mistake so enthusiastically that he deleted his message, are simply ensuring that the outdated belief of women's appearance being more important than their personality does not ever take root in some young impressionable mind who might happen upon this tweet.

The offended are the only ones giving this idea power. For an idea to hold any power to change perceptions or prejudices it must be believed. The idea that Gordon Ramsey is actually a sophisticated robot who lived on the sun and dispenses spinach and Soviet political manifestos at hourly intervals who is only here to secretly tickle penguins is an idea no one believes. This idea therefore has no power to change anything because it is obviously absurd.

Most people with half a brain can recognise the context of Steve Martin's comments, the history of his reactions and opinions and not believe that he intended any ill will or base objectifications. It is obvious he was merely paying tribute to a lost friend or admired colleague, as had many other celebrities. The only people who believe otherwise are the ones potentially afraid of an underlying sexist ideology taking hold in people's minds. No one else interpreted the message as such however so these people are entirely creating their own problem.

So if the professionally offended continue giving this idea power there is in fact a chance someone else impressionable will happen upon it and believe it. The idea is so baseless and devoid of logic however that it might be interpreted in any number of ways as I listed above. Perhaps that calling a woman beautiful is sexist or the phrase “turned out” is a hateful and offensive remark, upon which conversations like this might occur. 

“I spent three hours trying to find a parking space, turned out there was one right by the entrance.”

“You sexist pig.”

You probably think this is a ludicrous leap in logic but when there is no logic involved who can tell where absurdity might lead in further absurdity. People try to spark outrages like this increasingly often and usually with the same lack of evidence but to do so mere days after someone's premature death goes beyond annoying and self-righteous. You are actively hijacking someone's death in order to push a political agenda and even if you had a scrap of substance to back your claims that would still be a deeply shallow, selfish and disrespectful act.

If you truly care about someone's passing, celebrity or not, you would not speak on their behalf, you would not create further misery out of nothing amidst an already distressing event and you wouldn't justify it all by masquerading as a political progressive when in fact all you are is a vulture.

Grimace The Grammar Gunslinger (Unpublished Short Story)

As another spiteful wind left the last corners of the tavern, Grim Wallace tipped his wide-brimmed hat up and let the sand and dust pour off its back onto the floor. Others brushed down their slacks, coats and jackets or removed their hats completely, shaking them like trying to extinguish a match. The more extravagantly dressed women removed dusty shawls from their shoulders and handed them to their male suitors to shake clean. After a fleeting few moments of tranquillity, the doors suddenly swung open and the harsh sweltering sunlight illuminated Grim’s hunched and dust-drenched back.

Billy Blowhard, as he was known, swaggered into the tavern and loudly dragged a reluctant squealing stool underneath him, placing himself next to Grim and naturally at the centre of the room. He parades his smirking maw across the surroundings, leering at the women and challenging the stare of the men.

“Can a guy get some drink in this bughouse?” He stands on the rungs of his chair and slams his fist on the table as he descends, rocking the counter, laughing to himself and glancing around at the unamused patrons. Grim watches his own drink slosh from side to side in the impact. Waves lap the side of the rusty tin mug but recede before escaping the top.

The landlord puts an authoritative but reassuring hand on the hesitant barmaid’s shoulder as he passes to serve in her place. He takes a mug from beneath the counter and rotates a raggedy towel around its innards, never once taking his eyes away from Billy.

“What can I get ya?”

“Your strongest liquor that ain’t rotgut.” He proudly demands.

“None of my stuff’s rotgut but I’m guessing you’d be after a pint of “Coffin Varnish”.

“Whatever you say fella.”

Billy glances around the room again finally settling on his neighbour. Many assumed Grim slept like that, with a drink in one hand and the other tucked tightly up the sleeve under his first arm. Like a hunched old sack of meat propped up against the counter. The slumped bearded figure slowly lifts his mug to his lips as something clicks in Billy’s mind and he nudges Grim from his stooped stance against the woodwork.

Grim grounds himself to a halt, watching the liquid in his mug thrash against the sides. He waits for its unruly waves to settle, swiftly necks a mouthful and thumps it back onto the counter. Creaking his neck sideways to look at Billy.

“Ain’t you that Grimace?”

“Who’s askin’?” Billy slaps Grim’s shoulder and laughs, rocking on his stool slightly.

“Heh, guess ya don’t keep with the times if ya need to ask that.”

Grim doesn’t reply but turns back to the counter and takes another swig of his drink.

“Tell me, why do they call ya Grimace old man?” Grim sighs and places his empty mug down.

“‘Cos of the face they say I pull just ‘fore I gun summun down.”

This amuses Billy greatly and he continues slapping his thighs and rocking on his chair.

“Haha, can you even stil-“ Billy is abruptly silenced by the next harsh whirlwind crashing through the building.

The tavern doors swing wildly on their hinges, dust and sand swirls around the air and sweeps drifts along the wooden floor. Everyone hunches down into themselves gripping their lighter accoutrements and covering their drinks with their palms. The scorched wind and brittle dust demand all noise and motion exclusive to them for the next dozen or so seconds.

The scalding sandstorm finally subsides and the patrons shake off their hats and dust down their attire. Grim simply tilts his hat up again. Billy helps himself to cloths behind the counter and excessively attends to his appearance before jumping back onto his stool, a little exasperated and annoyed.

“I said, can you even still hold your shooter ol’ timer?” The patrons suddenly peek nervously around from their own affairs while Grim glances lazily at the well-polished piece by Billy’s hip. Another mug of frothing black liquid is placed in front of Grim as the Landlord eyes up the potential property damage.

“Sixty years and I’ve always found a way.”

“Ha, and how many people you actually shoot in that time?” Grim’s lips twitch and his teeth slowly grind against each other.

“Shot” Grim corrects him under his breath.

“I’m guessin’ less than five right?”

“Fewer”
“Ahahaha I knew it!”
“No. The word is fewer.” Grim growls his words through gritted teeth but still avoids eye contact.

“What?”
“Tha sentence would be fewer than five, ‘cos it’s quantifiable. Less than five is incorrect.”

There is a graveyard silence from every occupant in the building. Grim is motionless still sat by the counter, watching his drink heat up in the blazing sweat around them. Billy stares stone faced and blinking in confusion. Whether he comprehends the situation or not, something snaps within his fiery young temper as he stands abruptly from his stool, knocking it to the floor behind him, gripping his pistol tightly and casting a daunting figure leaning over Grim.

“You mocking me ya senile ol’ bag o’ bones? Do you know who I am? My dad an’ me run this tow-“

A piercing snap echoes throughout the tavern, a thin trail of smoke snakes up towards the roof and Billy collapses onto his back with a hole in his chest.

“The word is I. As in, I run this town.” Grim  mumbles.

The other patrons gawp in horror at the scene as Grim shakes the remaining smoke from his punctured sleeve. He inspects his revolver momentarily before placing it back into his coat arm and taking a long reward from his drink in the newfound calmness. The landlord tentatively steps towards Grim. He shakes his head and collects himself, silently gesturing to two of his bartenders.

The shocked but dutiful bar staff awkwardly drag Billy’s body around the counter and into the back. “Grim? You know who that kid is right?”

“Was.”
“Sorry…Was.” The landlord grips his arm and looks nervously towards the door. “That boy’s father is Benjamin Bentley. He could buy this whole town if he wanted. I mean I’ll say that Billy had it comin’ but…” During the pause Grim twists his rusty neck up at the terrified tavern owner struggling to find his words. “I think you’ve gone too far this time Grim.” Grim’s gaze floats pensively back down to his drink.

The next few days are stressful and panic-ridden for the landlord and his employees. The regulars even become restless with the exception of Grim himself who remains as stoic and masked as usual. It is almost a relief when a sharp-suited individual with wealthy, shined black shoes, fedora and slicked back hair steps confidently into the tavern. The heat is at its horrifying height and the nearby well is constantly assailed by the townsfolk wielding their largest buckets. Many of the patrons sit dripping in their clothes, having thrown as much over themselves as frequently as possible.

The oily Detective takes a patterned handkerchief from his pocket and wipes his brow. The landlord takes this fleeting moment to signal to Grim with his eyes who returns the glance but remains seated; sweat drenched and with multiple empty mugs in front of him.

The detective strides up to the landlord and clears his throat. His practiced smile is both polite and offensive simultaneously. The landlord prepares a clean glass as a goodwill gesture but the detective waves away the offer.

“Good day Sir, my name is detective Dennis Carmichael and I’m here to investigate the disappearance of a one Billy Bentley, last seen entering this establishment several days ago.”

“Uh, yes we expected someone to come. We…have Billy’s body.” The landlord tries to swallow down his anxiety, Grim attempts to size up the detective from his peripheral vision alone and Carmichael merely raises an eyebrow at the news of his subject’s death.

“I assume this is not a confession Sir?”
“No! No, I, we…Myself and my staff were preoccupied, we only discovered Billy’s body after, whatever happened…had happened.”

“A day as warm as today…Must have had significant business. You couldn’t keep your eyes on every corner of the building.” The landlord cautiously nods accepting Carmichael’s freely given alibi.

“May I see the body?”

“Of course. Just through here.” He moves around the counter, opens the barrier and lets Carmichael follow him into the back of the building past the anxious barmaids feigning ignorance. Their voices fade as they progress to the tavern’s back rooms.

“I’d only warn you of the smell Detective.”

“Oh that’s alright; I’m quite accustomed to corpses in my line of work.”

Whether the landlord has a response or it is simply unheard, Grim can’t help hearing the detective’s last line as a veiled threat. Grim hated all kinds of officials, detectives and businessmen for their elusive motives and shifty demeanour.

“Yes he is very dead isn’t he?” Carmichael and the landlord walk back to the front of the tavern. “I’ll need some information on all the people you served on the day of the incident.”

“Well that’d be everyone in here now, Detective. We don’t get many new folk come this far.” Carmichael spins on his heel, leans his back to the wall and analyses the room, speaking in hushed tones to the landlord. Despite his age Grim has effective enough hearing and is sat close enough to the detective to hear their conversation.

“So everyone in here is a regular?”

“Yes Detective.”

“So you could in theory tell me about them? Their reputation and behaviour?”

“Er, yes I’ve known most of these folks for years now.”

“Proceed.” The landlord looks uncertainly at Carmichael who twists a hand gesture prompting the nervous tavern owner to continue.

The landlord subtly draws a finger towards the left side of the building and sweeps it across the room naming his patrons as he goes.

“Well, on the far left wiv the collared shirt we’s got Ticklish Tim and Naive Nancy, Mild Malcolm, Gentle Jill, Pat On The Back, Cuddly Cathy, Loyal Lloyd and Handshake Hansen on the far right there.

“What about this old fellow in front of us here?”

“Oh uh…That’s er…Grimace.” Carmichael strokes his chin thoughtfully.

Grimace slumped on the floor of his cell and clanked his handcuffs together. The smell of sweat and body odour was even more prominent here than in the tavern while cockroaches crawled in and out of gaps in the walls and bars like it was nothing. Grim nonchalantly kicked one of the bars with his good foot.

He might have to play the long game, he thought. Wait for an important prisoner he can take hostage or a weaker, less savvy guard but then, how long does he really have at his age? He fondly recalls a time in his youth when he simply kicked loose the inefficient bars but as he got older, construction improved and he has neither the strength to break out nor the time to wait 5-10 years for an opening.

“Psst, you lookin’ for an out?” Grim shuffled around to face his cell-mate. It’s important to face people in prison; shows a sense of equality that can buy trust, also stab wounds in the back are a hassle to fix up on your own. There are three other men in this cell, one lies asleep atop a rug in the corner, another observes silently and the third has dragged himself towards Grim inquisitively. He has no shirt or head hair but bloodshot eyes and a scraggly brown beard that is so unkempt he has probably tried tearing it out by the roots as an insane alternative to shaving. The quality of his advice might be suspect.

“Juss pull yourself through Skinny Smithy’s passage there.” The man gestures towards the prisoner sleeping in the corner who opens his eyes at the mention of his name. Grim scans the men suspiciously until “Smithy” sits up and ever so slightly lifts the rag he was lying “asleep” on. A dark hole in the cell floor is visible and as Smithy quickly covers the route again, Grim sharply looks back to the bald shirtless man.

“How in blazes did you wrangle a thing like that?” The bald man giggles prompting a raspy chuckle from Smithy as well.

“Ee’s my pa see? An his pa started digging that hole years ago.” The bald man squeaks.

“Family secret” mumbles Smithy through an elderly grin of sparse teeth.

“And you’ve never been rattled?”

“Naw, we fill the top with mud when we ain’t got the rug.” Grim glances around the soilless wood and stone of the cell before thinking better of his line of questioning.

“May I?” The bald man nods excitedly and Smithy lifts the rug. Grim considers asking about the third cellmate who remains motionless in the far corner, watching the proceedings but it is another mystery probably better left unanswered.

Never disregard an insane person’s advice, just don’t fully buy into it either. A hole in the floor is good enough, Grim concludes; he’ll work the rest out as he goes. He scuffles hastily towards the exit as Skinny Smithy slams the rug down and immediately drops back into his sleeping performance. Grim pauses in exasperation, before swiftly spinning around along with the bald man to see a smug visitor clop his expensive shoes into the corridor.

“Grim Wallace, didn’t expect to see you chewin’ the rag down here.” Detective Carmichael strolls off the steps and past Grim’s cell. Grim stays silent but can’t prevent his eyes darting to the ring of keys jangling at Carmichael’s pocket.

“Been given free rein to experiment a bit here Grim. Figured you’s a bit too handy to be bothered by a cell full o’ nutjobs…No offence fella’s.” The other prisoners fire bitterly vicious glares at him.

“Gonna try a new scheme we’ve hatched up in the city. We called it Community Service.”

“What do ya call it now then?” Grim growls. Carmichael simply grins, clicks his fingers and two burly guards thump down the stairs to escort Grim away.

Chained to a post like a dog, out in the blistering heat with two pistols trained on him at all times. This was the most unorthodox school Grim had ever attended and he’d seen at least six. Pretty sure he didn’t even rob one or two of them. The class of children, aged around 13-16, sit smugly in the shade about fifteen yards from Grim’s post, scribbling away in their notebooks amused by the whole peculiarity as their teacher glances sternly between them and Grim, who receives a far more cautious stare you might give a wild boar or a wolf.

“A pail of water…A pale-skinned boy… These words sound the same but are spelt differently.” Grim grinds his teeth together and clears his parched throat. “Who can spell the former?” The group of conceited children don’t respond beyond giggling and gossiping between themselves, staring out at Grim like he was a party clown solely for their amusement. One of the guards bounces a stone off Grim’s forehead from his seat over in the shade.

“Who can spell pale, as in pale skin?” Grim repeats. One of the children raises a hand and the teacher gestures to him. He stands up from his stool and confidently pronounces the letters.

“P-A-Y-E-L” Grim’s teeth slip against each other and clamp down hard on his tongue. His hand instinctively flies to his hip but there is nothing there to grasp. He sighs and spits on the floor.

“No. No, kid that ain’t it at all.”

“Tell him what it is then ya daft old coot!” The guard throws another stone at Grim while his colleague and all the students laugh uproariously. Grim snarls at the guard through gritted teeth.

“These are barely kids! They should know a basic word like pale by now. In fact they’ll need it to describe their faces when they’s all riddled with cholera!” The children and their teacher gasp in horror as the guards get up from their chairs and start beating Grim senseless.

This became Grim’s gruelling routine for a horde of unforgiving summer and autumn months. Mocking kids who either didn’t know or didn’t want to know the simplest of spelling and grammar rules whilst the guards peltered him with pot-shots as and when they fancied.

Every week or so he’d be dragged into Carmichael’s office for a gloating diatribe about Grim’s pitiful existence and the detective’s own magnificent cunning. All the while still being paid through the teeth by Bentley to bleed a confession out of Grim, as one or both of them decided his punishment was not yet severe enough and if a proper court could have him hanged, they would find a way to ensure it.

It was an overcast and monochrome day as Grim stepped into Carmichael’s office, directly overlooking the courtyard. There hadn’t been an incident requiring the guards in months so Carmichael only brought them in a few days a week. Fewer wages for them meant a greater share of Bentley’s money for him and he frequently smoked fine cigars, sipping wealthy liquor whilst talking to Grim, who had himself become entirely docile.

“So how do you like my latest addition Mr Wallace?” Carmichael was leaning back on his chair, resting his feet on the desk. He pointed with his lit cigar to a golden miniature of a waterwheel. “Very appropriate for an office of law don’t you think?” He spins the wheel with his little finger. “What goes around comes around…often with interest.” He chuckles to himself. Grim looks at the statuette indifferently, his cuffed hands hanging limp between his legs.

“It’s very nice Mr Carmichael.” The detective sniggers and takes a drag from his cigar.

“I don’t suppose you feel like confessing today does you?”

“Sorry Sir, not today.”

“Haha excellent. Then we’ll just run out the clock on this meeting and you can go back to your pem.”

“Did you mean pen Sir?”

“You’re telling me a pig’s home is not a pem?”Carmichael sneers down his nose at Grim, humouring his eccentricities whilst unscrewing a large bottle of whisky.

“A pig pen is where you keep pigs Sir.”

“Fascinating. That’d be one of those multiple meaning words you’re so fond of, correct? You live in a pen; I write to Mr Bentley that you’re still uncooperative with a pen. They sound the same but they’re in fact spelt differently.” Grim’s feet shift slightly underneath the table.

“Actually Sir, those two are spelt the same but have different meanings.”

“Haha, it’s alright Mr Wallace I don’t actually care for your pedantics”

“Pedanticalness is the word if you’re using it as a noun.” Carmichael places the bottle on the table and looks deeply at Grim for a moment.

“Now you are just joking with me.”

“Not at all Sir.”

“Pedanticalness is not a word.”

“You have an expansive dictionary on your bookshelf Sir if you’d like to confirm.” Carmichael smirks and takes another swig from the whiskey bottle.

“You know what, I will confirm, because I’d take no greater pleasure than proving you wrong.” He reaches up and pulls the dictionary from the top shelf as a plume of dust cascades from it onto his face. Carmichael chokes and coughs amidst the cloud of dust and drops the heavy book onto his desk to try and wave away the mist.

No sooner than the dictionary hits the table-top does Grim snatch the book with both hands and swing it with all the force he can muster solidly into Carmichael’s face, knocking him flat on his back. Grim crunches a foot down on each of Carmichael’s arms and lifts the dictionary high above him. Grim glowers at the detective with a devilish burning detest in his eyes. His mouth contorted into a furious scowl full of repressed loathing.

Carmichael stares back, mouth agape but not so much surprised as confounded before a decisive downward blow of the dictionary ends his silver-tongued schemes. Tasting freedom at last Grim has to think quickly about exonerating himself from a murder as well as a jailbreak. He grabs the detective’s pen.

Weeks later in the tavern, Grim enjoys a quiet drink without quite as harsh a heat on his back. A polished new revolver sits modestly up his sleeve. The calling card left at the scene of Carmichael’s murder claimed responsibility for both his murder and that of Billy Bentley, allowing Grim to walk free when the police found him sitting obediently in the courtyard. The landlord pours Grim another pint and leans in closer as he passes it to him. “Tell me again, how the authorities don’t suspect you at all Grim?” Grim sips his drink and smiles.

“Supposedly the calling card was rife with spelling mistakes.”

Avengers: Age Of Ultron - Exploring The Criticism Controversy.

I never planned to write a review for Avengers: Age Of Ultron and this still isn’t it really. You’d have to be living under a rock not to have heard about it and the general consensus agrees it’s a great film. My succinct (ish) opinion believes it’s less watertight and focused than the first, there’s very nearly an overload on the one-liners and some of the jokes are more miss than hit. The pacing is a little jarring in places and the film feels bloated with content resulting in some scenes feeling overly cut down or missing important moments. Those are my criticisms.

Besides that it’s still a fantastic movie that delivers on the action scenes, the character interactions and development, the comedy and the comic-book fan appealing lore accuracy. It’s not better than the first but it comes close if not reaches being on par with it.

Incidentally my favourite scene. Probably also one of the cheapest to create.

Now that’s out of the way let’s talk about certain people’s reaction to the film and how their insanity outdoes Ultron himself’s own warped logic. For those unaware there was a considerable backlash to parts of the film and also a few events surrounding its release. The main points of criticism were Scarlet Johansson’s Black Widow character and her storyline in the film, then exacerbating matters was a joke Jeremy Renner made in an interview where he called Black Widow “a slut.” 

This culminated in Director Joss Whedon deleting his twitter account and although he denies claims that the violent criticisms were the cause, looking through the expansive archived comments, it’s hard to believe they weren’t at least a contributing factor to his departure.

From interviews and the general palpable hype and expectation for Avengers 2, it’s clear the pressure was getting to Whedon so a break to “focus on writing” again seems like a reasonable idea. Frankly I think it’s astounding the film came out as impressive as it is, given the tendency for overhyped sequels to collapse under the weight of their own expectations (See “The Dark Knight Rises”).

Going into the details of these criticisms I think it’s important to point out that I’m definitely not saying criticisms of the film are invalid or invaluable. Art should always have constructive criticism and feedback, it’s how we improve and grow. Deconstruction and analysis often progresses everyone’s knowledge. I’m both an amateur critic and filmmaker and I like to think I understand both sides of the coin. 

My problem is that much of these criticisms have been anything but constructive. At best they’ve been whiney nit-picking on personal preference and at worst they’ve been directed insults and violent threats that don’t help anything or anyone and continue to harm a “nerd culture” that is already heavily scrutinised for this kind of behaviour anyway.

So what does the film contain to spark such an inferno of controversy? Well the Black Widow character has more of her backstory fleshed out in Age Of Ultron alongside a romantic subplot with Bruce Banner. This backstory involves how Natasha Romanoff a.k.a Black Widow was trained from birth to be an assassin. We see glimpses of this past when Scarlet Witch’s mind powers send the team into traumatic states of recollection and/or future predictions. In Natasha’s case she sees her "home" (an orphanage?), ballet dancers and increasingly punishing training sessions involving murdering live hostages and reinforcing Guantanamo bay style “you are nothing” sentiments. 

This comes to boiling point when she and Bruce discuss escaping the Avengers together. Bruce clearly has feelings for Natasha but doesn’t trust himself (or rather the Hulk) to ever stop being a threat. Trying to persuade him otherwise, Natasha reveals that she can’t have children. Part of her assassin upbringing was mandatory sterilisation and she finishes the confession by saying “You’re not the only monster on the team”

Critics took this as an implication that infertile women are monsters.

I can see how they reached that interpretation but if you think about it for more than a second, do you honestly think that was the writer’s intended message? What would that add to the film? Do they have history of holding these kinds of views? No, nothing and no respectively. I took it to mean that her manipulated upbringing and everything she was forced to do has left her as more of a monster than her own person. The culmination of what her training did to her, rather than this one feature of it being the definition of a monstrosity.

Her and Bruce have both been forced into lifestyles they'd rather escape from.

 When I first saw this scene, I was moved by it and found it a real strong point of the film. The Marvel movies are only getting more and more absurd so bringing some heart and real human drama back into the story was really needed and effective I thought. Did the scene feel a little rushed or overly edited? Arguably so yes, but I don’t think that results in the filmmaker’s intentions to be a message of misogyny or sexism. 

The film actually goes on to accuse almost all of The Avengers of being monsters at some point, (I remember at least Stark and Vision) Captain America also has dialogue as they sit in the jet en-route to the finale along the lines of “Time to see if we really are monsters”

People took a repeated theme in the film and cherry picked it to interpret as a discriminatory statement from the filmmakers.

Other criticisms latched onto how Natasha is taken prisoner by Ultron towards the end of the film and eventually rescued by Bruce and the other (Male) Avengers. This is considered clichéd and falling back on the “Damsel In Distress” trope and whilst that’s technically true there is again a lot of missed context and information surrounding this that makes it far less offensive than it seems. 

Black Widow is far from incapable and that has been demonstrated frequently in every film. That said, her and Hawkeye are still the two weakest of the Avengers and the film itself even highlights this. The opening scene shows Hydra villain “Strucker” ordering his men to “focus on the weaker ones” because “a hit will cause them to close ranks” and sure enough, Hawkeye is injured and the team is caught off guard by the Maximoff twins whilst Natasha and the other Avengers try to save him.

When Natasha is captured she is taken to Ultron’s factory and he intimidates her by tearing apart his own body by a new superior vibranium-infused model. This could appear stereotypical as Natasha shuffles backwards in fear but the purpose here is just for Ultron to have a cool monologue and for Natasha to move back so he can close the prison cell door on her.

Three of the Avengers couldn’t be put in this position due to super strength and being able to break out of the cell immediately, so that leaves Iron Man (assuming he has no access to any of his suits or gadgets) Bruce Banner (assuming he has a reason why he can’t transform into the Hulk), Hawkeye (assuming he has none of his weapons and gadgets) and Black Widow (assuming she has none of her weapons or gadgets). With all these assumptions in place would the others scuttle back unknowingly into a jail cell at an approaching violent Ultron? I’m pretty convinced they would.

Y'see he rather outmatches them individually.

 So yes, Natasha being the one locked up is a bit clichéd but it could have just as easily been coincidence. We have to be careful not to condemn every instance of something falling in line with a common trope otherwise women characters would never do certain things and that’s kind of creating clichés of a whole new type. Furthermore, the only reason the rest of the Avengers find Ultron’s base is because Black Widow has a secret communication device (I’m not sure exactly what it was. Morse code?) unseen by Ultron that she uses to contact Hawkeye.

Once Bruce lets her out of the cell, it’s him who wants to run away together and not get involved in the conflict, but Natasha knows they’re needed and forces a Hulk transformation before they both join the fight. I’m not a huge Whedon fan who’s seen everything he’s ever done, but I’ve seen enough to know he doesn’t generally write the kind of characters he’s being accused of and Black Widow has more than enough badass moments in Age Of Ultron to stop her being anything close to a damsel in distress. 

The kind of people making these criticisms seem to actively search for things to be offended by and then fuelled by crusader-like righteous fury they paradoxically become some of the most offensive and discriminatory people on the internet.

The other event I mentioned was an interview outside of the film. Jeremy Renner and Chris Evans were being interviewed and the opening question was about the romantic hints between Black Widow and Hawkeye and then Captain America in films leading up to Age Of Ultron and how it was surprising that she ended up with Bruce Banner. Renner becomes completely deadpan and states “she’s a slut” to uproarious laughter by Evans. I only saw this clip after all the controversy so it didn’t strike me as funny by that point if it would have at all. 

Chris Evans later apologised, Renner ultimately didn't.

The point is, it’s quite clearly a joke, meant as an icebreaker for the start of an interview.

This wasn’t mid-discussion in a serious topic with Jeremy Renner stating that “I think Black Widow is fundamentally a very slutty character”. No, it was a dumb joke because Renner had nothing better to say on the subject and you’re well within your right to not find it funny at all or to find it rib-splittingly hilarious, that doesn’t matter. 

The level of vitriol and hatred directed at Renner afterwards was nothing short of ludicrous. Some even tried to stir up calls for him to lose his job acting in the Avenger’s movies. I can’t believe I have to point out how much of an absurd overreaction that is and whilst we’re stating the obvious, Renner made this joke about the fictional character Black Widow NOT his co-star and the actress portraying Black Widow, Scarlet Johansson. 

Overall there’s this sense that certain people are forcing something onto these movies. Whether it’s their own ideologies, a desperate scrape for self-righteous fame and superiority or a cathartic need to be enraged by something, there’s a considerable amount of people irrationally displeased with the content in these movies. I say “irrationally” because in terms of very mainstream cinema, Marvel has actually one of the most liberal and diverse movie franchises being released these days. 

Are they perfect and immune to criticism? Of course not but should you form that criticism in death threats and unconstructive barrages of swearing and insults? No you definitely shouldn’t because in case you weren’t taught this in primary school, that’s mean and offensive. If the counter to this is that you are offended by the content in the movie I bring up another age-old lesson “An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind” 

It’s not impossible for filmmakers to hide offensive messages and ideas in their films but if that’s the case you need to decipher them through rational and civil discussion. You then bring these criticisms to light and if other people see truth, logic and coherence in your argument then you can take these criticisms further and hopefully influence the filmmaker’s themselves or the studio producing the films.

Oh I’m sorry did you fall asleep? Yes I suppose that can happen with boring old logic, fairness and civility. You’ve been brought up on action, explosions, shouting and violence. The stuff of blockbuster movies. You’d better just apply that strategy to real life then because loud, controversial, accusatory yelling will get you more noticed than logic. Let’s keep going with that until we live in a culture of entitled crying immature babies all trying to yell the loudest and the most crassly. 

Do you want to live in that world? A chaotic, uncivilised and violent world? If you don’t and are culpable for the kind of reactions I’ve detailed here you need to look at yourself and listen to yourself and then think long and hard before you open your mouth again. You think you don’t influence anything? Well you do, and whilst you might think the ends justify the means, very often the means actually define the ends.

An "Objective" Overview Of Gamergate

Responding to the first and most obvious criticism of this piece, there can be no truly objective human perspective. Humans by nature are influenced and shaped by their own experiences and thus will always be biased. For example my personal biases are that I’m a supporter of Feminism, very anti-censorship, anti-bullying and in favour of transparency and honesty within journalism of all kinds, hence this initial disclaimer.

This is an attempt to be objective and to also provide a clearer explanation of this entire controversy for those who have been relative outsiders to it. Those whose only sources of information are the same sources having their integrity and credibility challenged and thus any attempt to decipher what’s really happening is long-winded, conflicted and difficult.

The comparatively humble beginnings of Gamergate start from issues fairly distanced from what it has ultimately become. A man named Eron Gjoni ended a relationship with indie game designer Zoe Quinn after revelations of infidelity on Zoe’s part came to light and the two were unable to work through their differences. 

Eron submitted a lengthy post detailing the life and death of his relationship with Zoe to forums on Something Awful and Penny Arcade, who deleted the threads for reasons not entirely clear. It’s the first hint of issues of bias and censorship within this issue whilst for others it’s a justified moderation of a clearly slanderous post.

Eron went on to upload what he’d written on its own separate blog, believing the warning of Zoe’s supposed manipulative and dishonest nature was important for people within the games industry to read. The first igniting sparks of gamergate come from the details of those involved in Zoe’s affairs, including her boss and a writer for gaming website Kotaku called Nathan Grayson. 

Many would bring up the issue of “conflicted interests”. That writing about or working with someone you have a relationship with causes bias, favouritism and ultimately corruption within supposedly unbiased media. Others have gone so far as to suggest Zoe instigated these relationships solely to advance her career and get positive coverage for her games.

Next is where things get a little crazy and convoluted.

The issue attracted increasing attention until known names in game development, journalism, gaming internet personalities and other popular media weighed in on the topic. Someone or some group of people began regimenting these people into opposing armies and exacerbating the disagreement into a conflict rather than a discussion. 

It’s generally believed the majority of the abusers came from the particularly anonymous and unregulated forums of 4chan but I don’t doubt many people simply jumped on the bandwagon. Believing their assaults were a righteous crusade or simply relishing in other’s misery, droves of people sent mockery, harassment, insults, even death and rape threats to Zoe Quinn and her most prominent supporters, including but not exclusive to Anita Sarkeesian (Feminist and video game critic, subject to her own controversial content) and Phil Fish (Former acclaimed indie game developer). 

Angry, irrational, often illiterate abuse and negative feedback is sadly nothing new to anyone contributing content on the internet but some people took the harassment further. It is claimed that Zoe Quinn as well as her friends and family had their personal details discovered through forms of internet hacking known as “doxxing” and the abuse spread to their mobile phones, personal email addresses and bank accounts. Quinn, amongst others claimed to have been forced out of their homes due to the extent of this abuse and were contacting the local authorities to track down those responsible. 

It is worth noting that we only have Zoe and her supporter’s word for this as no logs or evidence would exist publicly once the abuse moved on from the internet. Articles that later commented on Zoe or her supporters being driven out of their homes only linked to the person’s twitter comments as evidence.

At this point large numbers of people on Zoe’s “side” began fighting fire with fire and responding to the online abuse with their own attacks. Gaming journalism websites began censoring topics related to the controversy on their forums, whilst posting articles arguably very skewed into supporting Quinn, portraying all gamers as disgusting misogynistic abusers in rather blanket statements. 

“These obtuse shitslingers, these wailing hyper-consumers, these childish internet-arguers -- they are not my audience. They don’t have to be yours.” – “'Gamers' don't have to be your audience. 'Gamers' are over.” – Leigh Alexander. Gamasutra.

This mainly served to backfire however as it reinforced suspicions of collusion and bias between gaming websites, angered groups of anti-censorship supporters and gamers with no participation in the conflict, offended at being grouped in with those harassing and abusing. As a result more people joined up with the movement known as “Gamergate”. 

The term originated and predominantly resides on twitter as “#Gamergate” often grouped with “#notyourshield”. An accompanying moniker to reject the assumptions from journalists writing the aforementioned articles, that all gamers are the stereotypical socially inept, ugly, white male and they are the ignorant, immature, misogynist harassers of Zoe Quinn and her supporters. 

Hundreds of arguments flew back and forth between the opposing sides. Some civil discussions, some abusive insult flinging, all of them making no noticeable progress one way or another. Some supporters of Gamergate denied the abuse and harassment ever happened, that Zoe Quinn and others manipulated and fabricated the attacks, whilst others claimed the movement was and always had been about journalistic integrity and defeating corruption within the gaming industry.

The numerous sites seemingly on Quinn’s side continued to report on the controversy, some firmly believing the “fighting corruption” angle of the gamergate movement was just to disguise their “hate campaign”, others entertaining the idea that their methods of discussing and reporting gaming news were perhaps flawed and biased. 

Gaming website The Escapist actually made significant amendments to their reporting style, publishing an “Ethics Policy” pledging to provide more unbiased and transparent journalism. This still wasn’t enough for some people, others appreciated the reflection and reaction on their comments and some expressed their disappointment at The Escapist submitting to a supposed bullying mob’s demands. 

Meanwhile Quinn herself released logs of online chat forums she had been secretly monitoring. The logs are extremely long and full of digressions but the overall topic is centred on Quinn. Discovering and distributing personal information about her or her supporters, discussing how to further the gamergate movement by influencing social media sites like Reddit and Tumblr and how to conceal their abuse and harassment under the mask of “journalistic integrity”. 

"Aug 21 17.23.31 <sarahv> The problem is that making it about Zoe sleeping around amounts to a personal attack which, while funny and something she totally deserves, will hurt our chances of pushing the other point"

Numerous comments from certain users seem to confirm a sexist viewpoint, others a strong hatred for “Social Justice Warriors” and Feminists or at least a feeling of victimisation as a man, concretely dragging feminism into the fray. Members also mused and laughed about ways to ruin Zoe’s career, severely humiliate or injure her or even coax her towards suicide. These logs proved evidence of the harassment against Quinn and her supporters, whilst also giving credibility to the idea that the gamergate movement was a ruse for a hate campaign. The latter claim however can only be used so far as to prove that groups were trying to steer and manipulate the gamergate movement into abusive actions, not that the entire movement was a manipulated hate campaign from the start. 

The chat logs naturally also had their legitimacy criticised and accusations appeared of Quinn manufacturing them or at least “cherry-picking” the offending statements out of context. Supporters of Quinn proudly took release of the chat logs as a killing blow, trying to next promote the hashtag #Gameovergate. 

Quinn followed up these logs with claims that they were being relayed to the authorities and even the FBI in a police report. Again we only have her word for this but I feel at the point where very real and substantial organisations like the FBI are being brought in, it becomes far more difficult to lie about such occurrences. I’m not entirely sure what would serve as justifiable proof about the real world reactions involved in this but larger, more reputable news sources have begun commenting on aspects of the issue and unless we begin questioning the credibility of those as well, most would consider that proof.

Insults, abuse and hatred towards anyone strongly involved can still be found online, articles on gaming websites continue to be written, some of which from less-established journalists are now actively pro-gamergate, the twitter hashtag remains a fairly active movement, whilst growing numbers of Gamergate supporters publicly denounce the actions and views of those harassers that inflamed the controversy so wildly. 

Some of those opposing Gamergate have admitted there are people with noble intentions towards journalistic purity within its ranks but still believe that the “well has been poisoned” and that a movement with such ugly, divisive origins can’t meaningfully make progress campaigning for honesty, inclusivity and integrity.

If you remain interested in the ongoing Gamergate movement and its accompanying controversy I highly recommend doing extensive research into both sides of the debate and above all else, forming your own opinion. For what it’s worth my belief is that idiotic and cruel people exist on both sides, blowing things out of proportion, hurting individuals solely for their views and sowing seeds of discontent. There are also honest and decent people seeking civil, intelligent discussion about the future of gaming and game journalism. Those who, despite falling on different sides of this metaphorical warzone, have many shared interests and can most likely reach a healthy progressive compromise.

The future of Gamergate is still being written, often quite literally in articles, blogs, tweets, comment sections and more across the internet. There are aspects of the preceding controversy that are now so entangled in accusations, and counter-accusations, that we might never be able to determine the exact truth of them. Hopefully amidst this eruption of underlying problems within the industry and culture we, as gamers, players or fans of video games can still progress. I’d hope we can all agree there’s nothing worse than being stuck on the same level forever.